If you are human, you have done it. You compare yourself to other people. Did you ever stop to think that there are people who are comparing themselves to you too? It is simply part of human nature, it’s how we grow, it’s how we strive, but sometimes, unfortunately, it can be an excuse to give up, as well.
A Fixed Mindset
The definition of a fixed mindset tells you that the status is fixed, unchangeable with no room for growth or potential. You are who you are and you cannot change that, it was how you were born.
If we don’t have something or someone to compare ourselves to, you might ask, then how will we learn to achieve and grow? Sometimes, when we compare ourselves to others, we have something to gauge our success and failure with and, therefore, a measure of where we can do better and achieve more.
However, unfortunately, for those with a fixed mindset, this does not occur at all. There is actually a reverse method of thinking. That reverse method tells us, since we are not as good as the other person, we might as well just quit.
Do you ever find yourself viewing someone else’s success as only a way to make yourself look bad? If so, you are not alone in this thought process. For some, the success of others only seems to highlight their own failures.
Excuses are made such as the other party being luckier or having it easy. Another excuse is to say everything just comes easily to that person or, even worse, use their success to highlight some other unrelated shortcoming.
I went through this in my own emotional eating journey. I saw women, my friends, having their babies and getting straight back into their pre-pregnancy clothes. I told myself that it wasn’t fair, they must have better genetics, better self-control or they must be starving themselves. You get the drift, my mindset was fixed and by comparing myself I was only making myself feel like a failure and the result was to eat my feelings.
Let me ask you this, what if you could re-train your brain to adopt a mindset of growth?
On the opposite end of the spectrum is a growth mindset. A growth mindset takes on a different perspective. A growth mindset takes on challenges as a way to expand and grow. It also dictates that there is room for hard work, learning, and achieving.
You can give yourself the opportunity to change and grow over time as you learn to re-train your brain to a growth mindset.
When you view someone else’s success as a way to strive harder, do more, and work harder, your re-training your brain to view this not as an excuse to stay the same, but as a reason to thrive. Once you realise that you can change your mindset, then you will see a radical change in your life.
When you change your mind, you begin to re-train your brain to view failure as a stepping-stone to new successes. You will begin to understand failure as a learning tool and not as a way to define how you see yourself.
So, the next time you want to compare yourself to someone else, stop and ask yourself if their success can highlight inspiration for you. Maybe they put a tremendous amount of effort into losing weight or achieving their dreams and all that hard work paid off. This could be a learning tool for you, look at it as a means for you to learn, grow, and, most importantly, be inspired.
So what mindset do you have at the moment? Share with me your thoughts in the comments below, I can’t wait to hear them.
Big Hugs, Em xxx
P.S Do you know someone who might find this post helpful? If so, please share it so we can all continue to inspire each other each and every day.